Here are some possibilities:
EXPRESSING ANGER AND FRUSTRATION
Tear up some paper.
Scream underwater at a pool or scream in your
car with the windows rolled up.
Punch a pillow.
Go to one of those plate smashing places.
Scrub your sinks till they gleam.
Throw a ball against a wall at the park.
Bake some bread (and knead the dough heavily.)
FINDING A SOURCE OF PLEASURE
Eat chocolate.
Get a makeover.
Buy a new outfit.
Buy some unusual foods like lychee juice.
Drink a CAFFEINATED beverage.
Eat sushi.
Give yourself a foot massage (or bribe someone
into doing it.)
Make plans for a WILD, care-free childless life.
Settle down and read a good book all day.
Bake some decadent cookies.
Imagine the smell of dirty diapers and be happy.
Sit out in the sun to boost your mood.
Eat your favorite comfort foods (mine are grilled
cheese sandwiches and tomato soup.)
REFLECTING
Journal.
Take a mental health day and go to a beautiful
spot in nature or to an art museum. Even in a
bustling city there are unexpected quiet nooks of
beauty (sometimes near fountains) just waiting to
be discovered.
Tell yourself it’s not your fault and you did your best.
Milk all those emotions… write a poem or a song.
ACKNOWLEDGING THE PAIN AND HURT
Ask someone to hold you… just hold you. Repeat
as often as necessary.
Realize your feelings may be intense right now- you
can always blame the hormones.
Go out with your “best empathetic listener” buddy
to a coffee shop and talk it out till you have nothing
left. Take tissues. (If you cry, let people stare!
As they say- everybody hurts sometime.)
Note: If you don’t have this kind of friend, you need
one. Start looking! I call mine my MELBA (most
empathetic listener buddy always).
Compile a “go to” folder (or create a beautiful box)
of letters, song lyrics, speeches, blurbs that lift
your spirits.
Be kind to yourself- hide some notes and money in
jacket pockets and you’ll be surprised by them one day.
CONFRONTING FEAR/ANXIETY/UNCERTAINTY
Write out your fears. Sometimes it helps me to see
how illogical they are.
Take back your life by writing a nasty letter
starting “Dear Infertility…”
BANISHING GUILT AND SHAME
Create some morning affirmations like “My
infertility is not my fault.” “I didn’t make this
cycle fail.” “I am doing my best.”
I’m still working on ideas for getting rid of
false guilt and shame so let me know what you
think of.
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